I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
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That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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