I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
