just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
