well I can't set my house on fire every night
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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