well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
