What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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