Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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