Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize