I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
