I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
