dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
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