Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
