You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
