Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
