i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
