Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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