i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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