this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
