a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
apparently the secret to your success is patron
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
