my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
