Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
