If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
