well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize