walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
