My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
