All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He has the fingertips of a God
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