Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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