You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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