i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
