drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
