when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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