Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
