i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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