man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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