started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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