oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
