even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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