If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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