I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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