He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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