I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
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I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize