You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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