it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
