In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
