Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
