I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
