real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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