I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
