if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
