Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
