Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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