Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
