Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
