i was born a porn star she said
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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