He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
