"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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