Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
