I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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