I want to make a zoo with you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
