I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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