Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
