1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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