I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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