I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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